We’re all looking for something different, but it’s important to listen to your heart’s desire above all else. But it’s so difficult to do sometimes!
Love Languages
We all process emotions differently. That is why there are lots of different love languages. Gary Chapman wrote a great book called The Five Love Languages, which was published in 1992 and is still popular today. We are all on this mission to understand each other. We want and desire to give love and be loved on a deep level. I believe that to be loved is the strongest universal desire.
Hundreds of books have been written to teach us how to love and be loved. You might think these would be so simple, and yet they are so complicated, and we overthink them constantly. It can drive the sanest person absolutely batshit crazy! Even the smartest person will say, “I just do not get it. What am I missing? Why is this so complicated?” Love will bring us to our knees. It has that impact. Our desires and needs to be wanted by another human being are baffling at times.
Types of Love
It is so beautiful when two people share a deep intimacy. We desire those moments when it feels as if nothing else exists but the two of you. It can be as infatuating as a drug. In fact, love is a drug! Yet some people go their whole life and never experience this type of love. If you have had this experience, then consider yourself lucky. In my fifty-seven years it has happened only a few times, and in different ways each time.
There was my first love, puppy love—the playful, no-one-in-the-world-understands, you-wouldn’t-get-it type of love.
Then if you are lucky, you find your soulmate—the one you cannot live without, the one you will probably marry and spend the rest of your life with.
For some, there’s the convenient type of love—the one that just fits perfectly in your life. Maybe you had your heart broken in the past, so this convenient, safe-love category just fits.
Maybe you want a simpler partnership and you are looking for a friend with benefits to travel and explore with—nothing too deep, just enough to get by without any heartache.
And some of us have given up all together and decided that it is too much work and it is better off being alone than dealing with any of it.
Listen to Your Heart’s Desires
My question is, What is your heart’s desire? Get out of your head, place your hands gently on your heart center, and close your eyes. What is in your heart? Our minds will make pro and con lists, look at every detail, and give us reasons to not listen to our heart’s desire. I know this because it has happened to me. When I listened to my head, I found many reasons to end a relationship, which at the time seemed to be the right choice.
But when I listen to my heart, it feels different. This is why I said in the beginning to listen carefully—carefully being the key word. What does your heart’s desire tell you? What do you hear, see, or feel when you listen to your heart? One of the best questions I ask myself now is, Who do I want to wake up with every day? As I have gotten older, it is not so much about sex as it is about intimacy and playfulness. Whom do I want to laugh with? Whom do I want to share my secrets with?
Your heart’s desire is incredibly powerful. No matter what category of love you’re looking for or have right now, do not settle! Whatever type of relationship you are in, if it works for your heart and not just your head, then I think you are in the right place. But if it does not feel right in your heart and you are instead planning your escape or thinking of someone else or a different type of relationship, then you must listen to your heart. Life is too short to not be with who or what you desire.
Love is a risk, and you will get hurt at times. It is a powerful muscle that creates all sorts of emotions, but it is so worth it when you find the right love. Most importantly, your heart center is about loving yourself first so you are available to love another. Then go find the love of your life, the love you desire the most. True authentic love is to be able to say to another human, “I desire you on the deepest level.” Desire is powerful, and it is worth it!
Debsxo
