If only…I’d left home earlier I wouldn’t have missed my plane.
If only…I told him how I felt, maybe he wouldn’t have left me.
If only…I’d have had sex with him he wouldn’t have had an affair.
If only…I’d gone for that job interview.
Some people’s lives are full of “If only” and it’s nothing but a sign of indecision. But what else does “If only” say about you, and why should you avoid every saying it?
1. You Don’t Know What You Want
If you’re always saying “if only” then you’re telling the world you don’t know what you want and you can’t make decisions. You lack conviction and when you do make decisions, you’re never sure of them. You need to eliminate “if only” from your vocabulary. It’s just there for you to justify your indecision and that isn’t a good thing.
We all have to make decisions in life. Some you’ll get right, others you won’t. You have to stand behind every single one you make.
2. You Will Always Be Second-Guessing Yourself
When you go out with a man on a date, you can’t live the date again. It’s no use sitting with your friends saying, “If only I’d have said this or if only I’d have done that.” There is no such thing as if only. If only means you want to go back and change something and there’s no way you can do that. Stand up, and say/do what it is you want to do.
I’ve done it myself so I’m not pointing fingers. I’ve done it with property. I’ve said, “If only I’d have brought that house 3 years ago I could have tripled my money by now. I can’t believe how much it’s worth now.”
It’s pointless because you can’t ever go back.
3. You’ll Never Be Happy Where You Are Now
When you live by “If only” you’re never happy with the outcome. If only I’d brought that car in a different color. If only I’d gone somewhere different on vacation. If only I’d sent my kid to a different school. There’s nothing you can do once you make a decision. You have to live by that decision and move on with life.
You can second-guess yourself for the rest of your life, but you’ll drive yourself nuts. Stop saying “if only.” You made a decision. You didn’t buy that house, you didn’t date that guy, you slept with a man too early. Tough. Move on.
Realize that you are going to be constantly screwing up every single day. So live by your decisions, they’re yours. The mistakes are your own. There is nothing wrong with a mistake. We all make them every single day.
There’s no way you’re always going to make the right decision. It’s impossible. Nobody is perfect. You’re always going to have the odd decision you regret. That’s the magic of life. It’s time to realize, there is no such thing as “if only.”
Photo credit: pedrosimoes7 / CC BY
