When you’re newly dating your boo, it seems like everyone and their mother feels like it’s their cue to ask you super annoying and very intrusive questions. “Have you decided to be monogamous?” “Is he the one?” “Have you said the L-word yet?” “When can I meet him?” You know these questions only come from a good place, but the thing about good places is that they’re often pretty annoying places, too! So, here are three ways to shut down your well-meaning friends and family members who won’t stop asking about your relationship without insulting them.
“I trying to not obsess over it.”
My friends are basically the Usain Bolts of turning a fantastic new relationship into what’s essentially a panicky obsession. After a round of their questions, I’ll be wondering things I never thought about with my new guy and instead of enjoying his company. I’ll be questioning his motives and way too focused on our future. New relationships are about enjoying the “now,” not stressing about the “what ifs.” So, flat out tell your friends that you’re just trying to stay in the moment and not analyze details. Be prepared to repeat this phrase several times until your friends get the message. Sometimes, excited friends can be too interested in your good news to let it drop right away.
“How did you handle this step?”
A fact about humans is that they like nothing more than talking about themselves. So, if you can flip the conversation from an interrogation of your new relationship to an opportunity for your friend to talk about her relationship, you’re golden! Your friend will stop the inquisition and start sharing her story. Ask her to tell you about the first steps of her relationship and she’ll go on for a while. Mission accomplished!
“I don’t want to waste your ear time until I need your advice.”
Another way to get folks to drop a conversation is to compliment them into silence. Tell your friend that you absolutely adore her relationship advice and don’t want to overspend your relationship chat time talking about your relationship now, because everything’s going swimmingly. When you’re a little further down the road and need some of her stellar advice, you’ll spill all of the details to her and she won’t be tapped out on listening to you go on about your relationship. A good compliment can go a long way in terms of nudging people in the direction you want them to go.
And I don’t want to be one of your annoying friends who are so excited about your relationship that they’re annoying you, but I do want to give you some congratulations! A new relationship is exciting and I hope yours unfolds into something really special and meaningful for you!
