Remember that show Kids Say The Darndest Things? Well, I have a new idea for a show — Mad People Say The Darndest Things. It’s less funny and cute, more hurtful and life-destroying. Sounds great, right? Who wants to produce it!
Seriously though, when we’re mad, we can say some pretty icky things to people we love. And even though the expression is, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” the truth is that words can hurt. And once you say something, you can’t take it back. So when you’re mad, try to avoid saying these terrible things that could ruin your relationship.
Cuss words
Cuss words, curse words, four-letter words, no-no words. Whatever you call them, just avoid these nasty words when it comes to fighting with someone you love. Wouldn’t you freak out if someone called your man a bad word? Well, then you shouldn’t be doing it either.
Name-calling
This kind of goes along with the cuss words, but just avoid any nasty names. Remember, you’re fighting so hard with this person because you love him. Keep that in mind before words like “loser” or “idiot” come out of your mouth.
“You always” or “you never”
Try to avoid overgeneralizing his behavior. You’re mad because he didn’t have dinner ready when you got home after the longest day of work ever and then had the gall to ask you to make him mac and cheese. That’s fine to talk about. You’re not mad at him for always being lazy and never helping you with anything ever. The truth is that if he really is always terrible and never helpful, you shouldn’t be in that relationship. And I’m sure that’s not the case.
You want to break up
I know that fighting can lead to breakups, and that’s fine. But you should never initiate that decision during an argument. A breakup is a huge move, and you need to be calm and rational when you make that decision because once you say those words, there’s no unsaying them.
You hate his friends
This fight is going on between the two of you and doesn’t involve his friends. It’s definitely not the time to bring up how much you dislike his buddies. And once you make up, the stuff you said about his pals is going to make your social life a lot more complicated.
You hate his family
Similarly, his family is totally off limits during a fight. Of course his mom is annoying, but when you’re angry at him isn’t the time to bring up your unfortunate feelings about his mother. Family dynamics are complicated and fragile, and one misspoken word about his loved ones and you could count yourself out of being among them.
His ex was right about him
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Do not side with his ex on anything sensitive. And everything said during a fight is sensitive. She’s an ex for a reason, and you don’t want to end up as one because of one stupid thing you said.
His passions are stupid
Remember to stay on topic during a fight and not completely attack him. If you’re fighting over finances, do not bring up that his band is terrible, his art is worthless or his dream of inventing the first men-only spa is dumb… and has already been invented, like 100 times. Focus on the finances.
You wish you never met him
Fights can get really dramatic, but don’t take your reactions to the extremes. Telling him that you wish you never met him is cruel. You guys have had happy times together. It’s just that this fight isn’t happy. Telling him that you think your entire relationship is a waste will make him feel way crappier than you want him to.
You hope he dies
Again, hold the drama, mama! No matter how angry you are with him, I know you don’t wish he were dead. After you say something that nasty, any response he has is justified. And you don’t want to open his toughest can of whoop ass. You both will get really hurt.
